KAALAKAANDI

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Kaalakandi is sure an absurd name for a Hinglish Film starring a mainstream Bollywood actor and then I looked up on the net and and it is a Marathi word meaning – Mayhem. The movie is set thru one rainy night in Aamchi Mumbai where three different plots happening simultaneously cross each other.

The first plot is about a Banker – Saif Ali Khan who as we are informed in the opening scene is diagnosed with Stomach Cancer and has some few days left. This scene is what sets the pace for the movie as Saif goes on how healthy his lifestyle has been and that he has been a good boy with no smoking, drinks and drugs all his life. Well story of our lives when we try being a good reasonable person and end up suffering. He reaches home where the celebrations are on for his younger brother’s wedding and ends up having LSD and the mayhem begins.

The second plot is about a young couple where the girlfriend is leaving for US in the morning to pursue higher studies and as a last one thing before she leaves they attend a birthday party of a friend and end up getting holed up in the nightclub because of a drug raid and how they manage to escape that and the mayhem that follows.

The third plot is about underworld and the don’s sidekicks and how they plot to steal his money and also to fleece each other. With an interesting story line of a shooter who lose one of his testicles while trying to copy our very own Desi Cowboy Feroz Khan.

The film is 85% in English and belongs to the genre of Delhi Belly where profanities both in English and Hindi liberally thrown in.

Saif stands out in the movies as someone on a trip and the best bit is his interaction with a Transgender Hooker and the download (4)opening lines when he goes on and on about his desire to see her Cape of Good. Then the one where is brothers questions him about his sexuality who himself is out for his last sexual escapade before his own wedding.

There is this another character who rattles off names of all Emraan Hashmi movies while they are discussing kissing with such sincerity that it’s super funny and the only reason his girlfriend is with him because she has a fetish for young men.

The movie works in bits and pieces but the performance of Saif on a psychedelic trip and the scenes between him and the Transgender Hooker are what makes this movie paisa wasool at least for me. The genre and the language is what an urban English speaking Junta will identify with. Its different but not for everyone and better than films with one hero with super human abilities taking on the world’s terrorist organisations. You know what I am hinting at !!

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