13 things I did during 3 days of Netbandi

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13 things I did during 3 days of Netbandi.

  1. Cursed the administration for shutting down the internet for 3 (can u believe it ???) days.
  1. This gave me one more opportunity to grudge about the misrule of the current dispensation and their failure to back rhetoric with action. The case in point being the whole concept of Digital India.
  1. Opened the laptop to clean and sort out decades old files and pictures and sort them in orderly manner in different folders.
  1. Repeated the above point for my mobile as well.
  1. Deleted apps from my mobile that I don’t even remember downloading.
  1. Got the time to see that I have till date downloaded more than 1k+ songs ( and I claim to be tone deaf) on wynk music and in these three days deleted more than 200+ songs.
  1. Sorted my contacts List.
  1. My handset which is usually on a ventilator by the end of each day survived 2 straight days without having anything inserted in it.
  1. Realised that  SMS अभी भी जिंदा है.
  1. Hated not telling the world (थोडा ज्यादा हो गया) actually more like 1300 odd Friends and 400+ followers on FB/Instagram that how interesting/fascinating my life has been and how supremely talented/intelligent I am, in the last 3 days.
  1. Missed out on the information / news (To be read as Gossip and fodder for discussions).
  1. Wrote this blogpost as there was an urge to type because a blank laptop screen was getting too much to bear.
  1. Repeated Point No. 1

Congratulations Anant

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Dearest Anant,

On the onset would like to congratulate you on the amazing weight loss and what a loss it has been: a total of 108 kgs in eighteen months that comes to a whooping 6 kgs per month.

12963921_10153452939486717_3228393883383403705_nThis week hasn’t been too good for me, first a hospital sends me a sms asking me if I am obese (luckily they didn’t use the word fat, guess it is now politically incorrect) and asking me to visit their weight loss clinic , phew !! I had consoled myself that it wasn’t meant for me personally but a part of some bulk sms marketing tool. मन को समझाया ही था और आप श्री के वज़न कम करने के चर्चे सब newspapers / social media / news portals ने हम जैसे लोगों पे ऐसे bombard करे की लोगों को अब जवाब देते नहीं बनता है. एक शुभ चिन्तक ने personal message करके news forward की, की शायद मैं आप से inspire हो जाओं.

downloadवैसे BTW कई जगह तो आप के इस शानदार weigh loss ने Panama Leaks जैसे तुच्छ सी news को भी पछाड़ दिया, वैसे क्या फरक पड़ता है उन leaks का, पैसे आये न आये लोगों को यह जानना ज़रोरी है की आप कितने चुस्त और दुरुस्त हो गए हैं.

So we were informed about your fantastic fitness and diet regime that included a 21-km walk, followed by yoga, weight training, functional training and high-intensity cardio exercises and a zero-sugar, low-carb diet along with adequate fat and protein. Hats off to your determination and drive to achieve the impossible, but I wonder is it even remotely and humanely possible to stick to this kind of high intensive regime for ordinary mortals like us??

I have always been a little larger (ALL) ever since I remember and am used to the jokes about my weight and size, it is now an integral part of who I am, which I know isn’t healthy and a sure sign of future sickness and disease, over the years have tried all possible means of loosing weight , you name it and I have tried it except going under the knife , an idea that I am willing to explore but not as of now.

And with this I want to ask you something on behalf of the ALL Fraternity, with hand on your heart; which is now closer to your hand after the loss, did you or did you not go under the knife?? You know what I mean, for I have yet to come across anyone who has achieved such a staggering reduction in size ins such short span by just following what you did. Some of my friends and acquaintances have been very open about their surgeries while others bluff is easily identifiable.

download (1)Dear, I am not insinuating anything, just asking so I know for sure what you did is possible, so that I can then fix my appointment with the Next Door Dietician Bhabhi who is busy prescribing factory diet regimes to one and sundry and join the पड़ोस का अखाड़ा / Gym to covert my cellulite into डोले -शोले and make your before-after pictures as my whatsapp DP !!

Yours truly,

Deepak Sukhadia
A Proud Fat Man

PS : बात में अगर वज़न हो तो कृपया शेयर ज़रोर कीजियेगा.